Massage therapist dating clients
Its occurred to me that youre probably not getting the full benefit of the therapy if youre having intrusive thoughts, no matter how enjoyable.
I am massage therapist. Can i date my client.?
Much of the clinical benefit is highly dependent on the mind-body connection. The activity in your mind isnt lining up with the therapeutic goal. LIke, if you went to yoga and the instructor was flirtng with the class, you wouldnt get the deep tranquil vibey OM feeling. I started seeing my kung fu instructor — attended his classes for about six-months until I graduated to the advanced team.
We also worked out one-on-one without issues both predating and dating. However we knew eachother for 6 months working together on projects for our club and talking LOTS outside both f2f and on facebook like hours every night , so when we moved in for the kill we were both really, really sure that we wanted to be together and that we would have the kind of relationship were we could manage the setting.
Guy Friday June 18, , 9: Otherwise, you might not only get shot down but ALSO lose him as your massage therapist, and that would suck. SasLinna June 18, , 9: As a massage therapist, I can tell you this is really really really delicate issue. However, it is absolutely ethically iffy for you to continue your professional relationship while having a personal one. I am licensed in NY which has some of the strictest rules in the country and we had lots of classes about this kind of thing. You are in a vulnerable position when on the table giving him the power. His lack of personal boundaries during the session sharing WAY too much is also questionable ethically.
You certainly can ask him out. But, if he says yes, then you must discontinue your professional relationship immediately. And he should probably document it as part of his session notes with the date, etc. There have been lawsuits initiated from both sides when the relationship goes sour and one person tries to sue the other for something therapist says the client sexually harassed them, the client says the therapist assaulted them during a massage, etc.
Just document, document, document for BOTH of your protection. And then go live happily ever after. Sue jones June 19, , 3: Yes, it can get a little squicky… a massage therapist is touching mostly naked bodies all day after all…. Sue Jones June 19, , 3: He is walking a thin line and I would wonder at the very least about dating someone who fuzzed the professional line that way…. This is a serious professional issue for legitimate and highly trained massage therapists.
I think female massage therapists tend to bear the brunt of all that crap…. Junebug June 19, , 3: It sounds like there is some transference coming from you now.follow link
The LW made a point several times that it is an emotional connection, nothing sexual. I belonged to a massage community wherein we all massaged each other. The only money involved was the flat rate monthly membership fee. Quite often sexual arousal happened during a massage but the rules expressly prohibited acting on it within the facility and you would be evicted if you got caught. A lot of marriages spawned from there, mine included.
Dam shame it no longer exists. Sue Joness June 19, , Ah… them were some Hippie Days! I think the massage profession has tightened things up a lot in order to become more legit. Diablo June 19, , 3: Addie Pray June 19, , 3: Susan Lippman February 20, , 8: It is not allowed until at least 6 months after the therapeutic relationship has ended. It would be virtually impossible for the relationship to be equal anyway, because of the power imbalance, both physically and financially.
Most of the romances that get started between therapist and client end up disastrously and cause a lot of psychological, and often permanent harm, especially to the client, and the therapist risks loss of license, and loss of other clients who invariably become away of the serious breach of professional ethics. Not Impressed November 26, , 2: You have got to be kidding me. This is inappropriate all around and this man should not be treating you while building such a closeness.
If he is okay getting this close to you as a client, imagine his lines with other clients. This is everything that gives the Massage Therapy industry a bad name. If his ex-wife found out he was interacting with a client this way, she could report him and his career could be over whether anything has happened or not. Wendy, please look past the emotions and the drama of this all and make recommendations that keep the future, responsibility, and professionalism in mind.
Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Google Search Questions, Vol. Try Going Against Type. If you are able to access the article, I think you'll agree that no one is contesting the illegality of the actions of the massage therapist, but rather discussing the mitigating circumstances and the advisability of the regulation in the first place.
The therapist was questioned by the state on small gifts exchanged between her and her client. The state indicated the gifts represented further "boundary issues," and contends that taking tips is unethical because of "transference," a process in which trust in the practitioner leads to increased reliance and vulnerability.
I found this quite interesting.
- Boundary Choices;
- “Should I Ask Out My Hot Massage Therapist?”.
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- “Should I Ask Out My Hot Massage Therapist?”.
- Counter-transference for massage therapists.
In my own practice, I don't encourage tipping I suggest clients put the money toward coming in more often so we both benefit , but I honestly can say I never felt unethical accepting a gratuity if the client felt like providing one. When trying to expand my understanding of the issues raised, I did a Web search of "sex with clients" and found that almost all of the hits involved attorneys having sex with clients!
I was expecting a raft of information on psychologists and social workers and medical practitioners, but if Web articles are a measure of the size of a problem, lawyers are the front-runners. In actuality, many of the comments about this situation made distinctions between the various professionals in client relationships, but my thought is that it's the similarities that are more striking for purposes of this issue.
Because the client invests the massage therapist with a great deal of power and authority, the massage therapist has a unique ability to influence the client and a corresponding responsibility to refrain from any action that would harm the client. The power imbalance and confidence given to the massage therapist as a professional might extend to confidence in the massage therapist as a person as well.
It's this vulnerability of the client and corresponding power imbalance that necessitates a clear approach to the issue of professional-client sex. In my mind, the "cooling off" periods of time after breaking off a therapeutic relationship should not govern a therapist's private sexual relationships. It governs whom the therapist can see professionally. Therapists who wish to pursue a sexual relationship with a client can refer the client to another therapist or postpone the personal relationship until the professional relationship is completed.
As further example of this, in the same state as the cited massage therapist, physicians and nurses not involved in psychotherapy have no specific time limits for relationships with former patients, but physicians must discuss ramifications and cease treatment. It would seem unnecessary that massage therapists would have stricter rules.
In the many blogs and chat groups picking up this story, some of the more clever comments that caught my eye are:. And perhaps my favorite of all: So, I have no answers here, but lots of rhetorical questions: Where should the line be drawn between ethics and regulation? Are there "circumstantial" ethics? My bottom line here is to remember the importance of good boundaries, and to make sure you know the applicable laws in your practice area.
Professional association membership and a recurring study of professional ethics as continuing education can go a long way to avoiding needless legal complications. Massage Today encourages letters to the editor to discuss matters related to the publication's content. Letters may be published in a future issue or online.
Drawing A Line—Defining Boundaries for Massage Therapists
Please send all correspondence by e-mail to clifflmt mpamedia. News in Brief Dr. James Badge, former president of the National Board of Chiropractic Examiners who, among other accomplishments, played a key role in the development of the board's Practice Analysis of Chiropractic a report issued every five years and based on a survey of the profession , passed away on Nov.